As we move into 2018 my personal feelings are mixed. On the one hand, I am elated to be able to see a new year. However, delving a bit too deeply into the double-edged sword of the 24 hour news cycle has left me cynical (and troubled) regarding the state of the world.
Even so, I’m managing to cling to a bit of optimism. I have to keep believing that things will indeed get better. I marvel at how quickly my little nephew is growing up, learning to walk, and developing what will become a beautiful personality. I look forward to furthering my education… and improving my mental health.
First of all, I don’t want to alarm my family, friends and readers with this revelation. In the grand scheme of things, I’m not in any particular danger. I’m also not looking for any coddling or sympathy. However, in the spirit of transparency and honesty, I feel as if that I should be open about what’s really going on. As of late, I’ve been battling with what I believe to be bipolar depression. Although I’m not a licensed clinician (yet) the unpleasant shifts on my mood, emotions and thoughts has become more than I can manage on my own. While I do sincerely believe in the power of prayer and I’m sure God is still in the miracle-working business, there are times when one must seek the assistance of a specialist…
And I have decided to do that.
So, why share this with you? I share this to give others permission to seek help if they need it. Just like one who has diabetes, a heart condition or cancer has no hesitation in seeking the ongoing care of an endocrinologist, cardiologist or oncologist respectively, there should be no hesitation to seek a therapist when it comes to the potential illness of the mind, which is, at it’s core, an organ that also has its moments of malfunction that need to be addressed.
Granted, I haven’t been formally diagnosed. Best-case scenario is I complete twelve weeks of talk therapy, make a quick breakthrough and keep it moving. Worst-case scenario I have to get on medication to ensure that my neurotransmitters fall back in line. Either way, I win because I’ll get better, and if I get better then I’ll be able to do more for myself, my family, my friends, my community and beyond.
But first, I must do the work-and I look forward to sharing my findings during this journey with you.
Until then, cheers to you all and Happy New Year.