Be Your Own Ovation

Picture it: you just got accepted to your dream school. You just snagged that promotion. You landed that big sale with a fat commission to match. Naturally you want to celebrate this win and so you share it with those you know and love so that y’all can do the happy dance together. For the most part, you mama, bestie, and favorite cousin are doing the Dougie in your honor and life is good,

Then, you tell that one friend… only to be met with a shrug.

Or better yet, they make a sideways comment that sounds like advice, but feels like snark. Imagine being met with “But money isn’t everything” upon sharing that you got a raise… Makes you go “Hmm,” right?

You might think you’re being sensitive, but I’m here to tell you: you’re not sensitive, you’re perceptive.

Throughout life, you will find that not everyone you call “friend” will cheer you on. Some of these people, bless their hearts, allow their personal dissatisfactions with their own life color their perspective. Instead of seeing your win as confirmation that they too can get their come-up, they see it as a lost opportunity and will therefore feel the need to downplay your shine to soothe their own bruised, fragile egos.

To put it simply: it’s jealousy as old as Cain and Abel.

So, what do you do when your good news is met with a lukewarm response? For starters: do NOT take it personal. Their lackluster response is not about you; it’s about them and their own inability to see past their feelings of inadequacy. It’s their problem to solve, not yours.

However, don’t be totally ignorant to the behavior either. Once you clock shade, make a mental note to keep your good news to yourself when it comes to these people. You don’t necessarily have to block and delete (unless they really deserve it), but you can just let them hear about your good news elsewhere rather than wasting time sharing your success with someone who can barely muster a trend in response.

Lastly, take this as reinforcement that you are your more reliable cheerleader. While most of us have reliable support systems, some of us don’t. But that should never be an excuse to skip out on celebrating your hard-won advancements, big or small. Clap for yourself. Pop a bottle of champagne in your own honor. There is no need to wait in vain for applause from the outside when you are more than capable of being your own standing ovation.

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